Heather (September)

Everything went blank when I heard the words invasive ductal carcinoma. My first thought wasn't about me; it was... How am I going to tell my six young children that I have cancer? How was I supposed to allow myself to be sick when I had so many others depending on me, and a full-time job as a nurse?

I didn’t know much about breast cancer back then. The flood of appointments, tests, scans, and trying to figure out what exactly I was dealing with was overwhelming. I felt lost. The first person I called was my mom. That day, she was supposed to be celebrating her last day at the bank. Instead, she sat beside me while we both soaked in all the unknowns together.

Getting through the days that followed was not easy. Honestly, some days it was just about surviving the next hour. I found comfort in small, quiet things and after each treatment I would take hot baths with calming scents, the lights turned down low, and Christian music playing in the background. It gave me space to breathe, pray, and just be still. And then there were the showers, so many of them, where I let the water hide my tears. I cried hard in those moments, and somehow, that helped me keep going. It wasn’t pretty or perfect, but it was real. And sometimes, that was enough.

There were also moments of unexpected kindness that helped carry me. One that will stay with me forever came through meals. Strangers, people I didn’t even know, were dropping off food for my family when I didn’t have the strength to cook or even think about what to feed everyone. It wasn’t just about the food. It was the love behind it. These were people who showed up quietly, without expecting anything in return, just to help carry the weight for a little while. That generosity met me right where I was, and I’ll never forget it.

As I reflect on that time, I realize how much I learned about myself. I've always known I was a tough woman, but even I was surprised by what I was able to push through. I went through treatment while still working full-time. It was not easy. Some days felt nearly impossible. But I kept going because I knew I had to. I was fighting for my family. They were my reason to get up, to show up, and to keep moving forward, even when I was exhausted in every way.

Today, life is a mix of healing and adjusting. I’m still working through the changes cancer brought into my world, physically, emotionally, and even in how I see myself. I’m getting better at embracing the change instead of resisting it. It’s not always easy, but I’m learning to give myself grace, take things one day at a time, and find joy in the small, steady steps forward.

My perspective on life has changed completely. I live every day like it could be my last because I’ve seen how quickly everything can change. I’ve learned to really see the world, both above sea level and below. I love to travel, meet new people, and take in every moment. But more than anything, I treasure time with my children, family, and my friends. They’re what matter most, and I try not to take time with them for granted.

Being a survivor means more than just being alive. It means I’ve endured something life-changing, and I came out stronger, more grateful, and more aware of who I am. The journey wasn’t just physical. It tested me emotionally and spiritually. Some days I still feel fear, but also pride. To me, survivorship means honoring the struggle while embracing the life I get to keep living.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned and wish more people understood, it’s that everyone is on a journey. We’re all carrying something, even if it’s not visible. Cancer taught me how deeply people can hurt, and also how deeply they can love. You never really know what someone else is going through, so always give grace.

And to someone who’s just been diagnosed, I would say this: feel all the emotions. Don’t rush past them. Let yourself sit in the yuck if you need to - cry, scream, be scared. It’s okay. This journey isn’t easy, and there will be both good and bad days, but at least we have the days.

Lean on people. Let them help you, even if you’re used to being the strong one. And don’t be afraid to rest, your body and heart will need it. You don’t have to do it all. Just take it one breath, one step, one day at a time.