Brenda (October)
Disbelief. That’s the first word that comes to mind when I think back to the moment I was diagnosed. After all the preventative care and testing, I was surprised to find myself in this place. I wasn’t alone; my husband stood firmly beside me. He listened, supported, and reassured me that we’d face this together. I knew we would get through this chapter; I was just naive about how long it would be.
In those early days, I surprised myself with how calm I remained. Sure, I had my moments of tears, but I kept reminding myself that letting worry in wouldn’t change the outcome. Whatever lies ahead, I can handle it.
One of the most powerful tools in my healing came from simply telling my story. Sharing updates through CaringBridge allowed me to process what I was going through in real time. It was healing, and it helped me feel connected. Turning off my text read receipts and notifications was another important shift. It gave me space to respond on my time, not everyone else's. That small boundary created peace. I also kept a picture of myself in my bathroom, me after running my half-marathon PR. That image became a daily reminder of my strength, an anchor to my ability to be a winner.
And then, the overwhelming outpouring of support and kindness. I’ll never forget the love after my first CaringBridge post. We were out of town, and when we returned, there were gifts on the doorstep and offers of help pouring in from every direction. I felt so grateful to be so very loved.
Now, there are days when I feel “normal” again, like life before cancer. But it’s amazing how quickly one small thing can pull you right back into the worry of recurrence. Still, I’m so grateful to be on the other side. Thanks to Survivor Fitness through B the Light, I’m back at the gym twice a week doing strength training and rebuilding my confidence, both physically and emotionally.
This experience has shifted my perspective on life in powerful ways. I’ve learned to let go of things more easily, to not let the little stuff weigh me down. I prioritize rest and time with the people I love. I’ve learned to say no more often, and yes to the things that truly fill me up.
Being a survivor is one of my greatest accomplishments. It’s proof that I rose to the challenge in front of me and kept going. It means facing every day with hope, and it also means turning around and offering a hand to those who come after me.
What I wish more people knew is this: the hardest part comes after. In the thick of treatment, everything is about the medical logistics, appointments, and checklists. You’re surrounded by support. But when it ends, you pause, look around, and think, “What just hit me?” That’s when the emotional weight really sets in, when you finally start to process everything. It’s overwhelming.
To anyone just diagnosed, I would say: stay positive, be selfish, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help. There are more resources out there than you realize. Use them. Lean on people. And know that you will get through this, even if it takes longer than you expect.
B the Light entered my life at a time when I didn’t even know I needed that kind of support. And then suddenly, I found people who got it, who understood exactly what I was feeling. For the first time, I didn’t feel alone.